Can It Really ONLY Be Wednesday?!

I pulled up my blog and realized it has been ONE YEAR exactly since my last post!  I was shocked yet not shocked as it has been a very busy year.  Helping kids that come from trauma is more than a full time job.  It has been a trying year and a rewarding year as we have seen great progress in most of our kiddos.

Benjamin started formal schooling in August and for the most part, it has gone well.  He likes his teachers and is progressing academically.  I have been able to focus on being mom and take my teacher hat off with him.  Our other boys are enjoying school and it is going much better this year than last.  I have continued to homeschool both Jocelyn and Ellie Grace but had hit a wall with teaching Jocelyn.  Her condition makes it extremely difficult for her to learn and after much prayer and many tears, she has started public school this week.  She is such a vulnerable child that I want to keep her world very small in an effort to protect her but at the same time I want her to reach her full potential academically.  It has been very hard to let her go but we took her to school Monday morning and have prayed non-stop for her every day.  Her teacher says she is doing well and Jocelyn seems happy when she gets home in the afternoons.  It is definitely harder on me than her!

If that was not enough to make this week difficult, I have been hurt several times this week by others' words.  Maybe it is because I am already emotional over our decision for Jocelyn, maybe it is too much exposure to the 'outside' world, but regardless it has been hard.  But it has underscored to me to think before I speak to try to avoid hurting others and to try to show grace when someone does not do the same.  So all of that had been on my mind leading up to yesterday afternoon when a stranger showed up at our door, railing at me about one of our children.  He made statements about others witnessing things that upon checking up on the facts, were outright lies.  But as I stood there, feeling ambushed, I kept thinking in my head, "grace, grace."  And I was able to remember something I read a while back, "Hurt people hurt people."  And I wondered what had happened to this man to make him behave like he was.   Of course, many other things - not so nice things - were running through my head.  It was such a bizarre encounter - and a slightly scary encounter.  But if not for the things said to me earlier in the week, I might have said things I would regret afterwards, so silver lining.

On Monday afternoon, I had an appointment to get a doppler because of leg pain I have had for years.  It had gotten worse over the past four or five months and Emileigh suggested it might be a blog clot.  I was thinking no way could I have a blood clot but my doctor agreed that I should get it checked.  And guess what.....I have a blood clot.  So I am on blood thinners and am supposed to 'take it easy' (how do I do that with 5 kids?!) this week.  But Ellie is doing a great job of helping me out during the day while the others are at school and the mandated taking-it-easy has given me the chance to slow down and think about everything that has happened over the past 3 days and to write about it.  But really, it seems impossible that it is only Wednesday!

Our verse for this year is Psalm 126:3, "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."  So I am going to continue to choose joy, even when things are hard.

Kasy and Alex

This month I want to introduce you to two very amazing young ladies.  One is a senior in college and one is a senior in high school and they are both very special to our family.  We have known Kasy for most of her life as she and our daughters have been friends for many years.  We had her in our youth Sunday School class and now we have also had Alex in our class.  Alex has been our long-time weekly baby sitter and Kasy was our very first sitter for Jocelyn and Ellie Grace.  Last summer when we had our three adopted kids and our four fosters, we had numerous weekly appointments, in and out of the home.  Speech therapy, occupational therapy, counseling, social worker visits, family visits, our private foster agency visits, etc.  In order to manage all of that, and actually care for the kids and provide them with a fun and enriching summer, Kasy worked in our home full time and Alex was here every week helping out part time.  They both help with child care in our monthly foster family support group meetings and just this past weekend, volunteered to keep all five our our current children so that Scott and I could get away for a couple of days.  So really, I am selling them short in calling them amazing.  There just are not many people who could step in and handle our five as easily as these girls do!  They both truly have a heart for children from hard places and a gift for working with them.

Both of these young women have felt a calling to go to East Asia this summer to help in a foster home that serves kids with various special needs.  They have been accepted as part of this groups' summer staff and will be serving the children, the workers, and the surrounding village.  In an effort to help them reach their goal of $5,500 to help with their expenses of this trip, all of the proceeds from the sales of my jewelry will be going to them for the month of March.  You can also donate straight to them (contact me and I can tell you how) and of course, they welcome your prayers.  (We also welcome your prayers as we try to figure out how to survive without them!)

Ukraine

Ukraine, despite Scott's and my preconceived ideas about it, is a beautiful country.  The large cities were full of very old, very interesting architecture.  The small villages had a different kind of beauty; of livestock being tended by men, rollings fields of sunflowers, quaint houses with wells in their yards and thatched roofs, and horse drawn carts driving down the roads instead of cars.  Instead of finding the people cold and harsh, we found them friendly and warm and very helpful.  One day when I was in the small town where I was staying, I needed to put more minutes on my phone and was struggling to figure out how.  I went to one store and called my facilitator so he could explain to the clerk what I needed (since I do not speak Russian and all!).  The store I was in could not add minutes so the clerk walked me down the street to a store that could and then proceeded to explain to that store what I needed.  He did not leave me until it was all taken care of.  I have never had that type of customer service here in the U.S.!  One day I had a flat tire and three men stopped to change it for me and would not take any compensation for it.  Many people, including myself at one time, lump Ukraine in with Russia and have an idea that they are a harsh, cold people.  Funny how wrong prejudices can be.  And really, Ukraine is not the same as Russia.  I can not count the times people have said to us that they heard we adopted from Russia.  Ukraine is a separate, independent country.  Just as the U.S. is a separate country from Canada, Ukraine is from Russia.  Their country is not perfect, as ours is not, but it is THEIR country.

During the paperwork part of our adoption process, our actual time in country, and post adoption phase, we have met in person, on line, and in Ukraine, so many people who have become very special to our family.  Truly, some of these people now feel like family and we are bonded to them for life.  I do not begin to understand the political issues going on in Ukraine so I have been hesitant to write about it.  I do understand that Russia is slowly invading Ukraine and that the Ukrainian people do not want it.  They are being killed and displaced slowly but surely.  Orphanages in the east have been evacuated and placed elsewhere in the country.  Families have left everything and fled to other parts of the country.  I keep in touch with one of our friends in Ukraine who has been displaced and am posting (with his permission) part of his last email.  It is one thing to read about this in the news and quite another to know this is happening to people you have met, people that you care about.

"Can't complain, really.  Certainly in undeniably better condition than so many other families.  It's just that this nagging feeling that we lost home that we've invested into so much of our time and resources over the last years continues to be rather painful.  Yes, we are ok here at our rental but it's not "quite right" and will never be.  I am afraid we crossed a no-return point and will need to adapt even better/quicker.  I guess however there's no price for your kids' safety, running around happily, going to school, etc.  We pretend as much as we can the life is normal when it is not..."

This hurts my heart to read - his sadness coming through so clearly.  He, with his wife and children, had to leave behind their home and everything they owned to prevent being in a Russian-controlled part of Ukraine.  They just walked away from everything - or ran.  And yet many families there do not have the resources to do this.

Another family from Texas that we have been fortunate to 'meet' along the way has started a non-profit call The Jeremiah Raok Project.  The goal is to help the people of Ukraine.  They just finished raising money to send food to eastern Ukraine.  They are now raising money to help an orphanage in another part of Ukraine.  You can read about this online at www.jeremiahraokproject.com.  This month, all the proceeds from my jewelry sales will be going to this project.  Please join me in helping to support them!  You can purchase jewelry or just donate on their page.  It is a hard, sad situation and my heart hurts for the people of Ukraine.  If Russia succeeds, their lives will never be the same.  The citizens will be Russian citizens, and the orphans will not be allowed to be adopted as Russia has shut down American adoptions.  We are ever so grateful that we got Benjamin out.  But there are thousands left.  Precious faces that keep me up at night.  Please, be in prayer for the kids in the orphanages and the people of Ukraine.

P.S.  Benjamin has been doing great.  He is plugging away in his school work and continuing to build his vocabulary.  He loves being in a family, American food, and the freedom he has now.  We were able to Skype recently with a friend of his that has now been adopted and it made my heart fill with joy to see how much they enjoyed discussing their new American lives.  They laughed and talked for a very long time and we look forward to doing it again soon.  It was surreal to see and hear them looking nothing like they did in their orphanage and certainly sounding nothing like they did as they conversed entirely in English.  It was a very special time.

January, 2015

It is hard to believe that January is over!  It blew by like a hurricane.  We started off the month sending our bigs back off to their real worlds of school and work and then Scott and I went out to MD Anderson in Houston for my 6 month check up.  There were some enlarged lymph nodes that required biopsy so that was no fun and there were a couple of really long days of appointments, but at the end of it, all is good.  No signs of cancer.  Three years out from stage III melanoma is a big deal and I am not taking it for granted!  So grateful God has seen fit to let me live a little longer.  :)

We got home from that trip and turned right around heading to Arkansas to marry off our little girl.  Carlie and Ethan had gotten engaged and were busy planning a May wedding but decided five months of planning and stress was not for them and decided to just do it.  So our family and his family converged on Eureka Springs at Thorncrown Chapel and they got married.  It was small and intimate and beautiful.  Carlie says it was exactly what they wanted and they are very happy with their decision.

They are all moved into their first apartment and back at school.  I think it was the perfect plan for them.

In the midst of all of this, we decided to re-do our room - there was not enough craziness going on - and I am thrilled with the results.  We cleaned out, painted, rearranged, and are making it work for us so much better.  In old houses, space is at such a premium (i.e. tiny closets, tiny bedrooms, no storage, etc) that you have to make every inch count.  We are finally so much more organized and it is great!

I got a new book while we were in Houston and have finally finished reading it.  The title is Walk to Beautiful and the author is Jimmy Wayne.  I do not follow country music but evidently he has had a few songs.  What piqued my interest though is that it is his story, of being abandoned repeatedly, neglected, in and out of foster care and group homes, all ending in a homeless teen boy on the verge of dropping out of school.  Enter an elderly couple who took a chance on him and ended up saving his life.  He finished high school, finished college, and went on to have a music career in Nashville.  But more than that, he has a passion for aging out foster kids.  He is inspired by how Russell and Bea Costner cared about people.  He said they "didn't talk about loving God and loving people; they just did it."  He fights to raise awareness of the plight of teens aging out of foster care and works to get legislation passed to help them.  One of my favorite quotes in the book is, " Don't walk only when it is convenient; don't merely walk till you get tired; keep walking through it all.  Walk to Beautiful."  Check it out!

Our December in a Nutshell

We had an awesome Christmas season!  December, 2013, Benjamin spent the month slightly shell-shocked/culture-shocked as he was just home.  I spent it exhausted from the 11 weeks I had just spent in Ukraine.  December, 2012, I was neck deep in my cancer treatment and sick as a dog.  December, 2011, I had just been diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma and was in a fog.  So this year.....BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!  We went to parties, had dinners with family and friends, built a gingerbread village, made paper chains, and fuzzy ball garlands, went to see the lights in Canton, played many many games and put together many many puzzles.  Alex Krutov was with us for a day and spoke at our church.  It was great to meet him and get to know him a little.  Benjamin hung on his every word.  I have been reading Alex's book, Infinitely More, and I highly recommend it.  His story is amazing as is his work in Russia with orphans.  If you ever have the chance to go hear him speak, or host him, do it!


                                                    gingerbread village in the making

We had everyone home for Christmas day and for several days afterwards and it was really great.  Scott and I were up early with the littles and up late with the bigs so we were very sleep deprived.  But we did not want to miss a minute of theun and time with family.  Having the big kids home, even if only for a few days, is so special and we treasure that time.

                                                                Christmas morning

                                                     All 10 in one shot - rarely happens

                                                                the newlyweds

                                  Scott got roped into taking all the kids on motorcycle rides.
                                  Somehow, he suffered through.  :)
            

                                                And I could not pass up the opportunity!

It is a well proven fact that holidays often bring out behavior issues in kids from hard places so this year was no different in some difficulties we have faced with some of our kids.  We try making accommodations for that but invariably, hard stuff happens.  I think the Christmas season is particularly painful for them in that their loss is felt more deeply and they are such little people to have to try to cope with so much loss.  But we made it and the first day back at school today was mostly a success.

Now, however, I am heading back to Houston for a check up at MD Anderson.  I will spend one entire day, from about 7:30 a.m. until about 8:30 p.m. being x-rayed, having blood work, an ultrasound, a ct scan, and a full skin check.  They look thoroughly for any hint that the melanoma has returned.  It is unnerving and exhausting.  Caroline will be holding down the fort at home with the littles so please be praying for her that the kids all listen to her and are well-behaved for her.  We have the greatest sitters ever coming in on Thursday and Friday to help her out but still, they are quite the handful.

In the month of December, the proceeds from my jewelry sales were designated for Project Hopeful.  I am happy to report that I am writing them a check for $600 tonight and getting it in the mail tomorrow.  Thank all of you so much who ordered last month!  It is exciting to be able to support Project Hopeful and the work that they do.

Best Christmas Party Ever

We have had this Christmas party on our calendar for a while now.  It was not something we were really looking forward to since parties do not fit with our introverted selves.  But we knew it would be something the kids would enjoy.  It was a party for a local county's foster children, foster families, and birth families.  It would be a party where our mis-matched family would be the norm and the kids would feel like we were just like many other families in the room.  So we forced ourselves to go and guess what....it was the best Christmas party ever.

I was talking to our social worker when she pointed behind me and said, "There is your girl."  I had no idea what she meant so I turned around and there was one of the girls we had fostered this spring with the biggest smile on her face.  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  I could not believe it.  I grabbed her up in a big hug and everything else going on at the party melted away.  All her siblings were there and it was such a surprise and a huge gift to be able to see them, to talk to them, to hug all of them.  I have no idea what all went on at the party or what the program consisted of because all I could do was to soak them in.  The baby had gotten so big and had so much hair!  He had teeth and could stand up now.  The five year old could not stop smiling and hugging us and Ellie and Jocelyn.  Just hearing her say my name again brought tears to my eyes.  The seven year old was somewhat reserved until Scott told her to come give him a hug.  She grabbed hold of him and I thought she was not going to let go.  Made us both cry.  Then my special one - the ten year old.  She was in my lap any time I sat and was hugging me and wanting my undivided attention.  She had all her news built up to tell me.  She was the least expressive when she lived with us but things were spilling out of her tonight. She even told me she missed us and wants to be able to visit us.  More tears.  At one point during the night, she started rubbing her cheeks and saying they hurt.  She has no idea it was because she was smiling so much.  It was an unexpected and incredible gift.  The kids are back with their family and they love their family and wanted to go home to their family.  I certainly do not want to give the impression that they wanted to stay with us.   I do, however, think they built another small, secondary family with us and that we all miss each other.  I could not ask for a gift that means any more to me than this night has.  My heart is full.

So many of you have asked about these kids the past few months and we have had no news because we have not been allowed to see them.  I knew you would enjoy hearing that we got to see them and getting a little update on them.  If you think about it, please pray the parents' hearts would soften and allow us a small place in the kids' lives.  I am sure it is hard to understand the bond you can build in such a short time with children who are not your own.  But trust me, there is a love there that is unexplainable.  We miss them every day, pray for them every day and care so much for them and their future.  It is a comfort to know that God loves them even more than we do.


This was our group on an outing this past spring.  Going anywhere was definitely an event!

Merry Christmas and Project Hopeful

We are in the full swing of the Christmas season around here as I am sure all of you are as well.  We had a great Thanksgiving with almost all of our bigs home.  Emileigh is working in Indiana and could not get home but we are looking forward to her being here for Christmas.  It was our first Thanksgiving without her, our first Thanksgiving with Collin's wife Elizabeth and our first Thanksgiving with Carlie's boyfriend, Ethan.  He is from Wisconsin and is going to school at Mississippi State U so it was a bit far for him to go home!  And last but not least, it was Benjamin's first Thanksgiving here and it was his first time to go with us to cut our Christmas tree and I think he had a great time with both!   He loves when all the big kids are home and loved going to my mom's and being with all the cousins.  He loved the food and really just had a great time. 

These three were intrigued with the cutting of the tree!

I think Collin, Elizabeth and Jocelyn had the most fun!

I am still making and selling jewelry when I can and finished up the fundraiser for the Rash family's adoption last month.  They should be traveling soon in the new year and I can not wait to show you pictures of their new son!  As soon as they give the ok, I will introduce you to him.  We all really appreciate your support of their adoption.  

For the month of December, the proceeds from my sales are going to Project Hopeful.  They are an organization that educates, encourages, and enables families and individuals to advocate for and adopt children with HIV/AIDS and other of the most overlooked children for adoption.  Our family has been impacted by the cause of children with HIV/AIDS so it is a cause close to our hearts.  We knew nothing about HIV/AIDS except for all the fears until a few years ago when out of necessity, we became educated about it.  Now we realize how important education is on this subject so that people can let go of their fears.  So we really appreciate the work that Project Hopeful does on behalf of these kids.  Check them out at www.projecthopeful.org, on Facebook or on Instagram.  And thanks for helping support them!

One of my favorite new pair of earrings:

To order a pair, either contact me or click on the etsy button which will take you straight to my shop.