I pulled up my blog and realized it has been ONE YEAR exactly since my last post! I was shocked yet not shocked as it has been a very busy year. Helping kids that come from trauma is more than a full time job. It has been a trying year and a rewarding year as we have seen great progress in most of our kiddos.
Benjamin started formal schooling in August and for the most part, it has gone well. He likes his teachers and is progressing academically. I have been able to focus on being mom and take my teacher hat off with him. Our other boys are enjoying school and it is going much better this year than last. I have continued to homeschool both Jocelyn and Ellie Grace but had hit a wall with teaching Jocelyn. Her condition makes it extremely difficult for her to learn and after much prayer and many tears, she has started public school this week. She is such a vulnerable child that I want to keep her world very small in an effort to protect her but at the same time I want her to reach her full potential academically. It has been very hard to let her go but we took her to school Monday morning and have prayed non-stop for her every day. Her teacher says she is doing well and Jocelyn seems happy when she gets home in the afternoons. It is definitely harder on me than her!
If that was not enough to make this week difficult, I have been hurt several times this week by others' words. Maybe it is because I am already emotional over our decision for Jocelyn, maybe it is too much exposure to the 'outside' world, but regardless it has been hard. But it has underscored to me to think before I speak to try to avoid hurting others and to try to show grace when someone does not do the same. So all of that had been on my mind leading up to yesterday afternoon when a stranger showed up at our door, railing at me about one of our children. He made statements about others witnessing things that upon checking up on the facts, were outright lies. But as I stood there, feeling ambushed, I kept thinking in my head, "grace, grace." And I was able to remember something I read a while back, "Hurt people hurt people." And I wondered what had happened to this man to make him behave like he was. Of course, many other things - not so nice things - were running through my head. It was such a bizarre encounter - and a slightly scary encounter. But if not for the things said to me earlier in the week, I might have said things I would regret afterwards, so silver lining.
On Monday afternoon, I had an appointment to get a doppler because of leg pain I have had for years. It had gotten worse over the past four or five months and Emileigh suggested it might be a blog clot. I was thinking no way could I have a blood clot but my doctor agreed that I should get it checked. And guess what.....I have a blood clot. So I am on blood thinners and am supposed to 'take it easy' (how do I do that with 5 kids?!) this week. But Ellie is doing a great job of helping me out during the day while the others are at school and the mandated taking-it-easy has given me the chance to slow down and think about everything that has happened over the past 3 days and to write about it. But really, it seems impossible that it is only Wednesday!
Our verse for this year is Psalm 126:3, "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." So I am going to continue to choose joy, even when things are hard.
