Court

We had court yesterday and I think it could not have gone better.  There was a judge, a person on either side of the judge (the jurors), a court reporter, and a lawyer.  Then on one of the spectator benches were the orphanage director, the social worker, and the legal person for the orphanage.  On our bench was Scott, Vanya (our facilitator), Sasha, and me.  Sasha seemed nervous and squeezed right in between Scott and me on the bench.  The judge had questions for all of us and Vanya was translating as she went.  She asked us why we wanted to adopt from Ukraine, if we would be able to support another child, what kind of work Scott does, do we have a large enough house, etc.  She questioned the social worker and the director.  They both said they thought our adoption of Sasha was the best thing for him.  The director said she felt like Sasha is already mentally checked out of the orphanage knowing he is going home with us and that she has never come to one of the adoption hearings and had the child sit with the adoptive parents instead of sitting with her.  She said he has really bonded with us and she has seen the love between us.  Then they judge questioned Sasha.  He stood, very shyly, looking at the floor.  She started asking him if he liked us, if he wanted us to be his parents, if he is prepared to move to the U.S.  He smiled the entire time and kept saying, 'dah, dah, dah.'  He did not hesitate or seem to waver at all.  He sat back down and snuggled into Scott.  Then they said his new name, and he broke out into a big smile.  The judge and the two jurors went out of the room for a few minutes and came back in and said the adoption is approved!  There were no hitches or issues at all and everyone was in favor of the adoption.  So we finished up in about an hour.  Sasha had to leave and go back to the orphanage and we had to do some paperwork (it seems endless!).  We went and had some lunch and then headed on to the orphanage to visit with Sasha.  He seemed very happy and content and wanted to know exactly when we would be able to get him from the orphanage.  We now have a 10 day waiting period before we can pick him up for good.  Our adoption day seemed to go very differently than many I have read about.  We were not allowed to pick Sasha up for court so we did not change him into clothes we brought for him.  He met us at the court house instead.  Then he went straight back to the orphanage with the man that brought him.  We did not get any pictures at all.  When we went out to visit him, we still did not get any formal pictures since it was his first time meeting Ali,  we were just all trying to be in the moment.  Below are a few shots Vanya got of us visiting.  So officially, here is Benjamin Alexander Selman!  Even if it was not a typical court day, it was a very good day.

Driving in Ukraine

I am still visiting Sasha at the orphanage daily and we are waiting on a court date.  We have not been in a hurry for it since we are just on week 2 of the 8 week long tb test for Sasha.  But we think our court date will be October 28.  So we are starting to look at plane tickets for Scott and Ali to head back over.   We are thinking Sasha, Ali and I might be getting home in the first week of December!  Can not wait and so excited about possibly being home before Christmas!!

I am driving back and forth to the orphanage about 30 minutes each way.  Today, I stopped several times along the way to get some pictures.  Ukraine's potholes should really be called something else entirely because they are nothing comparable to anything I have ever encountered before.  There are even road signs warning you of upcoming 'potholes'.

If you see one of these, you better throw it down into second gear and start creeping along!  And there are many of these.  Then, when there is an extra bad section of 'potholes' coming up, you get this.

No joke.  And it is not like there are two distinct lanes of traffic.  Everyone uses the entire road and you weave and bob across the road depending on where the best path lies.  Scott has likened it to driving in a video game.  You are always watching for the holes and the occasional cow, goat, duck, turkey, chicken, whatever happens to be crossing/darting across the road.  Not to mention the cars coming at you head on!  But interestingly enough, I have yet to see a wreck.  It seems like utter chaos but it works somehow.  This is definitely an adventure I will never forget!

Sasha

I want to share some of the sweet, funny, and sad things we have seen with Sasha so far.  He is a very  thoughtful, kind, quiet, and silly boy.  When he and Scott and Vitalik would go get something to eat when we were in Kyiv, sometimes I would stay in the room to do some other things.  Scott said Sasha was always concerned that I was not eating.  If at a meal, I did not have a drink, he would point it out and try to get me one.  It was very thoughtful.  He would share any food he did have with me or Scott very willingly.  Yesterday, a friend of Vitalik's brought his snack out to him so Sasha ran inside to get his.  He came back out, not having taken a bite of it, and offered the first bite to me.  How do you say no to that?!  Grimy hands and all.  :)  He is clearly very conscious of others having food.  When he sees a dog, he always stops to pet it for a moment.  He was very interested in our pictures of our dogs and wanted to know if they were trained.  I have no idea what he means exactly but he has every intention of training them for us once we get home!  He does not always say much but when he does it is so funny.  He loves rubbing Scott's hair and says he looks like a hedgehog.  When I was doing picture flashcards with him, we came to a picture of a monkey.  Sasha's ears stand out a little so I teasingly pointed to the monkey and said, "Sasha!"  He laughed and pulled his ears out even further and pooched his cheeks out.  One day, he and Scott were playfully arguing about something and Scott would say no and Sasha would say yes, back and forth.  And on one response, Scott switched to 'nyet' (Russian for no) and Sasha said, 'dah' (Russian for yes).  So Scott would switch back and forth and Sasha never missed a beat matching him language for language, smiling all the while.  He also will say, "Sasha Selmon, April Selmon, Scott Selmon, Vanya Selmon" (our facilitator) :).  It is too precious!  When we first met him, we gave him a photo album with pictures of our life.  We went through each of our 6 children at home and told him their names and ages once.  He has not told us their names again but he will point at their pictures and tell us each of their ages!  I can't always remember that and they are my kids!!  On our trip to Kyiv, we were crammed into this tiny car.  So he was usually in my lap.  At one point, he had one hand on Scott's shoulder (Scott was driving) and was holding my hand with his other.  He wanted a hand on each of us.  When the other children at the orphanage are crowding around, he is quick to intercede and tell them, "My mama, my papa."  Here and there he will look at me with his precious eyes and ask, "Sasha America?"  I think we can not come home quickly enough.  When Vanya asked him if any of his friends are pressuring him to stay in Ukraine, he responded, "I have no friends here."  Oh my heart.  We stayed in an apartment building in Kyiv that had an elevator, and he refused to go in it.  Every time, he and Scott would take the stairs.  And when we would venture out for walks, you could see him pull inwards, unwilling to talk to us or anyone.  He would just shut down.  I think there was just too much stimulation.  We will be staying home for quite a while once we get back to the U.S. and let him ease into our life.  He seems to have no fear at all of becoming our son and moving to the U.S., giving up his life here, his language, his culture.  What a brave little man he is.

When we started this process, I really felt and still feel, that God has two boys for us.  For now we will enjoy this guy as we wait for further direction.  Yesterday and today, this verse has come to me, through an email and then in a book I am reading.

Yet those who wait for The Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
     Isaiah 40:31

I am content to wait...

Hardest Post Yet

I have been dreading writing this post and had hoped to get to a point where I could do it without tears.  But that is not going to happen any time soon and I feel like so many of you have supported and prayed us through this process and deserve to know what is going on.  As I think I have mentioned before, children in Ukraine get to say yes or no to an adoption.  Vitalik decided he did not want to be a part of our family.  He will not be coming home with us.  He is a precious child but for various reasons, does not want us to be his parents.  So we will be coming home with Sasha, one child instead of two.  We did check into one other boy we have met since being here, but he is not yet available for international adoption.  By that point, we were too emotionally spent to pursue anything further.  Sasha is precious too and we are very happy that he wants to come with us, but at the same time, we are very sad about Vitalik.  We will continue to pray for him and his future and will continue to love him.  I am still visiting with him every day and since the official decision, he is much more at ease with me and allowing me to really get to know him better.  I am trusting that God can use all of this heart ache for His good.  It is hard to see how that is possible right now in this moment but that is where faith has to come into play.

Please keep Vitalik in your prayers.

Beautiful Buildings of Kyiv

In walking around Kyiv, we have seen so many beautiful buildings and here are some pictures of a few.

This is the opera house where we went to a ballet.

 This is an amazing clock made from plantings that are just beautiful!  To put it in perspective in size, the truck in front of it is a full-sized truck.

This is Independence Square and the apartments we have stayed in are straight out on little streets that radiate out from this area.  The main road you see running horizontally in this picture is closed down to traffic on the weekends and is full of pedestrians, performers, vendors - kind of like a much cleaner version of Bourbon Street in New Orleans.

Some Pics of Ukraine

We have a down day today so that is why I am writing 2 posts.  Scott is out roaming the streets of Kyiv while I am in the apartment resting and catching up on communication.  We have taken hundreds of pictures and want to share a few.

 A tire swan.  I have seen these in several places and think they are really cool!

I was excited to see tire planters too!

The rolling hills are just beautiful.

This is the 'lodge in the woods' where we stayed for several nights.  It was more like staying in someone's home that a hotel.  They cooked for us and we just ate whatever she was cooking that day.  If their chickens laid eggs, we had delicious fresh eggs.  If not, we had potatoes or macaroni for breakfast.  It was all good though!

This is the front area of the lodge.  We got there the day they were planting all these plants and I just stood and watched as they turned up shovel-fulls of the blackest, richest soil I have ever seen.  I was so jealous!  Oh, the flower beds I could have!!!

This is the view from the lodge.  It was very peaceful and beautiful.

This was a little well house for the lodge.  Not sure if they still use it or not, but it was cool.

This is the road leading us to the driveway for the lodge.  It was just a mixture or rocks.  When we walked on it, it hurt my feet through my shoes.  Hopefully they make tires a little tougher here!

Another shot of the road.  The pond in the distance was our view from the lodge.

The driveway up to the lodge.

 'Mushrooms' decorating the front lawn of the orphanage.  They are made with old enamel bowls which are painted.  I think they are so creative and fun.

Two of the light fixtures in our third apartment that I though were really pretty.  We thought the bulbs in the first one were out of place though.

The dolphin show in Kyiv that we took the boys to see.

I know it is hard to see, but this is a picture of some of the family members who run the lodge getting their cows in for the day.  There are no fences for livestock so they just go out each evening and bring them in.  I have no idea how cows do not wander off.  In the villages, the people take their cow or goat out to somewhere in the village and stake them in one spot.  Then they graze that area down for the day and the owners go bring them home at night.  It is very interesting to see how differently things are done.

This is the view from the balcony of our third apartment.

This is a picture of a freshly turned field.  It still does not convey how dark the soil is.  (Can you imagine, Jamie and Paula?!)

This is a horse drawn cart the farmer is using.  We see people driving these down the streets loaded with bags of some kind of produce and just loaded with families.  There are certainly cars too, but plenty of these carts as well.  There are also carts powered by these tiller-looking things instead of horses.  We have not gotten a shot of those yet but they are very innovative.

2 Weeks in Ukraine

We have been in Ukraine for two weeks now.  It is hard to believe it has already been that long and at the same time it feels like it has been forever.  We are in our 4th apartment and have put many many miles (or kilometers!) on our car.  It has been full of highs and lows.  And completely unexpected things - good and bad.
We have been surprised by the kindness we have encountered in the people here.  Natasha was the cook and waitress at one place we stayed and we were able to visit with her over several meals.  She hugged us both when we left with tears in her eyes and said she was hoping for the best for us and the boys.  Some of the workers at the orphanage love those kids so much and truly care for them.  It has been wonderful to see.
We have been surprised also by some not so great things.  Scott has been pulled over by the police twice now.  Fortunately, Vanya, our facilitator, has been with us both times and knows how things work here.  The first time we had not broken any law and Vanya knew they were just wanting money from us.  So we just drove away.  The second time we had broken a law (on October 1 you are supposed to drive with your lights on all the time and Vanya had forgotten to tell Scott that).  So Vanya told them to write us a ticket and then it started!  It would take them three hours to get it written and we would have to stay right there while they were writing it.  So Vanya told them we had nowhere to be and would wait.  It is funny to watch and hear Vanya argue with them and play the game.  Of course, they sent us on our way when they realized they were not getting any money from us.   It is shocking to us that the police can so openly expect money!
Then there have been the surprises with the boys.  One has reacted so much better than we could have expected to us and one has reacted so much worse than we could have expected to us.  It has been so good and so bad all at the same time.  We still can not foresee how it will all turn out so I will not get in to any more details right now.  We are working through some really hard things and praying for God's will to be made clear.

All of this has reminded me of a poem made popular by Corrie Ten Boom's inclusion in her book years ago.

My Life is but a weaving,
between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow
And I, in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And I the under side.

Not til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

He knows, He loves, He cares,
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
Who leave the choice with Him.


I look forward to understanding all of the why's one day.