Our house on most days is, at best, controlled chaos. There is always someone needing something. It is uncommon to get through a night without one of them waking us up with one need or another. So when Scott found out he had to go on a business trip last week, he 'jokingly' was excited to get away for a break. He looked forward to 4 full nights of sleep, cutting up noone's food but his own at meals, getting out for long walks, and only having to take care of himself. He was going to Chicago, one of our favorite places to visit, a place we always have fun. We love to walk along the Magnificent Mile, along the edge of the lake, and through the neighborhoods. On one of Scott's walks on this trip, he met a young man. A homeless young man. During their time together Matthew shared that he had aged out of the foster care system a year ago, at the age of 18. He said he was removed from his home when he was three and spent the next 15 years moving from one foster home to another and then eventually to a group home (because really, who wants an older foster boy in their home?). He remained in the group home until he aged out at 18 with nowhere to go. No people in this world. He claimed he never wanted to be adopted, never wanted to be let down by another family. So he is living on the streets of Chicago. He said he gets a bed most nights in a shelter but with it getting colder, the competition for a bed is making it harder. The night before, it had rained too, making it even harder and he did not find a bed. He slept outside in the rain but a positive, he said, is that he does at least own a blanket. But now it is wet and his biggest problem of the day is trying to get it dried out in case he has to sleep outside again that night. He said people are pretty good about giving him food most days and that he really does not have to eat that much. His hopes and dreams in life are to survive each day, day by day. Nineteen, on the streets, with no prospects in his near future. I am guessing Matthew does not see the 'fun' in Chicago. It makes the statistics I hear about the majority of males aging out of foster care ending up in jail or dead seem all too real. You hear about those 25,000 kids who age out each year in the U.S. as 'slipping through the cracks.' I heard a speaker say recently that he thinks that phrasing is incorrect. He said they are not slipping through the cracks but slipping through the church's fingers as we stand idly by. Matthew needed a connection. Where were God's people in Matthew's group home? Where was that one person to care enough to be a support for him when he got out? These kids need people. Not even neccessarily to adopt them but to help guide them. They age out with no life skills and no marketable skills for the job market. I met a woman recently whose mission is to help kids in our area who are aging out navigate the college application process. What an awesome mission! For those who want to go to college, what a gift to give them. Kids need people who can teach them how to hunt for jobs, how to budget their money once they have a job, how to find adequate housing, how to choose a college or a trade school, how to drive a car, and the list could go on and on. Some might just want a place at a table on Thanksgiving. Where do you think Matthew will be this Thanksgiving? It hurts my heart to even contemplate that.
If you want to help, Sunnybrook Children's Home is a good place to start in our area. And I promise, there are multiple homes in your area too. They are inundated at this time of year with people looking for a holiday mission. So check in with them in January or February. Build those relationships. I promise, it will never be something you regret investing your time in.
If you have not read this story, please take a minute to do so. It is written by a former social worker so it is a slightly different perspective:
http://www.scarymommy.com/the-child-i-didnt-adopt/
As always, I have jewelry for sale at my etsy shop, link on this blog page, and all the proceeds are still going to the Rash family who adopting a boy near and dear to our hearts. Please help support their adoption and get some Christmas shopping done at the same time! You can also keep up with new jewelry on our Instagram page @leastofthese127.
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