Our December in a Nutshell

We had an awesome Christmas season!  December, 2013, Benjamin spent the month slightly shell-shocked/culture-shocked as he was just home.  I spent it exhausted from the 11 weeks I had just spent in Ukraine.  December, 2012, I was neck deep in my cancer treatment and sick as a dog.  December, 2011, I had just been diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma and was in a fog.  So this year.....BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!  We went to parties, had dinners with family and friends, built a gingerbread village, made paper chains, and fuzzy ball garlands, went to see the lights in Canton, played many many games and put together many many puzzles.  Alex Krutov was with us for a day and spoke at our church.  It was great to meet him and get to know him a little.  Benjamin hung on his every word.  I have been reading Alex's book, Infinitely More, and I highly recommend it.  His story is amazing as is his work in Russia with orphans.  If you ever have the chance to go hear him speak, or host him, do it!


                                                    gingerbread village in the making

We had everyone home for Christmas day and for several days afterwards and it was really great.  Scott and I were up early with the littles and up late with the bigs so we were very sleep deprived.  But we did not want to miss a minute of theun and time with family.  Having the big kids home, even if only for a few days, is so special and we treasure that time.

                                                                Christmas morning

                                                     All 10 in one shot - rarely happens

                                                                the newlyweds

                                  Scott got roped into taking all the kids on motorcycle rides.
                                  Somehow, he suffered through.  :)
            

                                                And I could not pass up the opportunity!

It is a well proven fact that holidays often bring out behavior issues in kids from hard places so this year was no different in some difficulties we have faced with some of our kids.  We try making accommodations for that but invariably, hard stuff happens.  I think the Christmas season is particularly painful for them in that their loss is felt more deeply and they are such little people to have to try to cope with so much loss.  But we made it and the first day back at school today was mostly a success.

Now, however, I am heading back to Houston for a check up at MD Anderson.  I will spend one entire day, from about 7:30 a.m. until about 8:30 p.m. being x-rayed, having blood work, an ultrasound, a ct scan, and a full skin check.  They look thoroughly for any hint that the melanoma has returned.  It is unnerving and exhausting.  Caroline will be holding down the fort at home with the littles so please be praying for her that the kids all listen to her and are well-behaved for her.  We have the greatest sitters ever coming in on Thursday and Friday to help her out but still, they are quite the handful.

In the month of December, the proceeds from my jewelry sales were designated for Project Hopeful.  I am happy to report that I am writing them a check for $600 tonight and getting it in the mail tomorrow.  Thank all of you so much who ordered last month!  It is exciting to be able to support Project Hopeful and the work that they do.

Best Christmas Party Ever

We have had this Christmas party on our calendar for a while now.  It was not something we were really looking forward to since parties do not fit with our introverted selves.  But we knew it would be something the kids would enjoy.  It was a party for a local county's foster children, foster families, and birth families.  It would be a party where our mis-matched family would be the norm and the kids would feel like we were just like many other families in the room.  So we forced ourselves to go and guess what....it was the best Christmas party ever.

I was talking to our social worker when she pointed behind me and said, "There is your girl."  I had no idea what she meant so I turned around and there was one of the girls we had fostered this spring with the biggest smile on her face.  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  I could not believe it.  I grabbed her up in a big hug and everything else going on at the party melted away.  All her siblings were there and it was such a surprise and a huge gift to be able to see them, to talk to them, to hug all of them.  I have no idea what all went on at the party or what the program consisted of because all I could do was to soak them in.  The baby had gotten so big and had so much hair!  He had teeth and could stand up now.  The five year old could not stop smiling and hugging us and Ellie and Jocelyn.  Just hearing her say my name again brought tears to my eyes.  The seven year old was somewhat reserved until Scott told her to come give him a hug.  She grabbed hold of him and I thought she was not going to let go.  Made us both cry.  Then my special one - the ten year old.  She was in my lap any time I sat and was hugging me and wanting my undivided attention.  She had all her news built up to tell me.  She was the least expressive when she lived with us but things were spilling out of her tonight. She even told me she missed us and wants to be able to visit us.  More tears.  At one point during the night, she started rubbing her cheeks and saying they hurt.  She has no idea it was because she was smiling so much.  It was an unexpected and incredible gift.  The kids are back with their family and they love their family and wanted to go home to their family.  I certainly do not want to give the impression that they wanted to stay with us.   I do, however, think they built another small, secondary family with us and that we all miss each other.  I could not ask for a gift that means any more to me than this night has.  My heart is full.

So many of you have asked about these kids the past few months and we have had no news because we have not been allowed to see them.  I knew you would enjoy hearing that we got to see them and getting a little update on them.  If you think about it, please pray the parents' hearts would soften and allow us a small place in the kids' lives.  I am sure it is hard to understand the bond you can build in such a short time with children who are not your own.  But trust me, there is a love there that is unexplainable.  We miss them every day, pray for them every day and care so much for them and their future.  It is a comfort to know that God loves them even more than we do.


This was our group on an outing this past spring.  Going anywhere was definitely an event!

Merry Christmas and Project Hopeful

We are in the full swing of the Christmas season around here as I am sure all of you are as well.  We had a great Thanksgiving with almost all of our bigs home.  Emileigh is working in Indiana and could not get home but we are looking forward to her being here for Christmas.  It was our first Thanksgiving without her, our first Thanksgiving with Collin's wife Elizabeth and our first Thanksgiving with Carlie's boyfriend, Ethan.  He is from Wisconsin and is going to school at Mississippi State U so it was a bit far for him to go home!  And last but not least, it was Benjamin's first Thanksgiving here and it was his first time to go with us to cut our Christmas tree and I think he had a great time with both!   He loves when all the big kids are home and loved going to my mom's and being with all the cousins.  He loved the food and really just had a great time. 

These three were intrigued with the cutting of the tree!

I think Collin, Elizabeth and Jocelyn had the most fun!

I am still making and selling jewelry when I can and finished up the fundraiser for the Rash family's adoption last month.  They should be traveling soon in the new year and I can not wait to show you pictures of their new son!  As soon as they give the ok, I will introduce you to him.  We all really appreciate your support of their adoption.  

For the month of December, the proceeds from my sales are going to Project Hopeful.  They are an organization that educates, encourages, and enables families and individuals to advocate for and adopt children with HIV/AIDS and other of the most overlooked children for adoption.  Our family has been impacted by the cause of children with HIV/AIDS so it is a cause close to our hearts.  We knew nothing about HIV/AIDS except for all the fears until a few years ago when out of necessity, we became educated about it.  Now we realize how important education is on this subject so that people can let go of their fears.  So we really appreciate the work that Project Hopeful does on behalf of these kids.  Check them out at www.projecthopeful.org, on Facebook or on Instagram.  And thanks for helping support them!

One of my favorite new pair of earrings:

To order a pair, either contact me or click on the etsy button which will take you straight to my shop.

Chicago - A Fun City....Right?

Our house on most days is, at best, controlled chaos.  There is always someone needing something.  It is uncommon to get through a night without one of them waking us up with one need or another.  So when Scott found out he had to go on a business trip last week, he 'jokingly' was excited to get away for a break.  He looked forward to 4 full nights of sleep, cutting up noone's food but his own at meals, getting out for long walks, and only having to take care of himself.  He was going to Chicago, one of our favorite places to visit, a place we always have fun.  We love to walk along the Magnificent Mile, along the edge of the lake, and through the neighborhoods.  On one of Scott's walks on this trip, he met a young man.  A homeless young man.  During their time together Matthew shared that he had aged out of the foster care system a year ago, at the age of 18.  He said he was removed from his home when he was three and spent the next 15 years moving from one foster home to another and then eventually to a group home (because really, who wants an older foster boy in their home?).  He remained in the group home until he aged out at 18 with nowhere to go.  No people in this world.  He claimed he never wanted to be adopted, never wanted to be let down by another family.  So he is living on the streets of Chicago.  He said he gets a bed most nights in a shelter but with it getting colder, the competition for a bed is making it harder.  The night before, it had rained too, making it even harder and he did not find a bed.  He slept outside in the rain but a positive, he said, is that he does at least own a blanket.  But now it is wet and his biggest problem of the day is trying to get it dried out in case he has to sleep outside again that night.  He said people are pretty good about giving him food most days and that he really does not have to eat that much.  His hopes and dreams in life are to survive each day, day by day.  Nineteen, on the streets, with no prospects in his near future.  I am guessing Matthew does not see the 'fun' in Chicago.   It makes the statistics I hear about the majority of males aging out of foster care ending up in jail or dead seem all too real.  You hear about those 25,000 kids who age out each year in the U.S. as 'slipping through the cracks.'  I heard a speaker say recently that he thinks that phrasing is incorrect.  He said they are not slipping through the cracks but slipping through the church's fingers as we stand idly by.   Matthew needed a connection.  Where were God's people in Matthew's group home?  Where was that one person to care enough to be a support for him when he got out?  These kids need people.  Not even neccessarily to adopt them but to help guide them.  They age out with no life skills and no marketable skills for the job market.  I met a woman recently whose mission is to help kids in our area who are aging out navigate the college application process.  What an awesome mission!  For those who want to go to college, what a gift to give them.  Kids need people who can teach them how to hunt for jobs, how to budget their money once they have a job, how to find adequate housing, how to choose a college or a trade school, how to drive a car, and the list could go on and on.  Some might just want a place at a table on Thanksgiving.  Where do you think Matthew will be this Thanksgiving?  It hurts my heart to even contemplate that.

If you want to help, Sunnybrook Children's Home is a good place to start in our area.  And I promise, there are multiple homes in your area too.  They are inundated at this time of year with people looking for a holiday mission.  So check in with them in January or February.  Build those relationships.  I promise, it will never be something you regret investing your time in.

If you have not read this story, please take a minute to do so.  It is written by a former social worker so it is a slightly different perspective:

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-child-i-didnt-adopt/

As always, I have jewelry for sale at my etsy shop, link on this blog page, and all the proceeds are still going to the Rash family who adopting a boy near and dear to our hearts.  Please help support their adoption and get some Christmas shopping done at the same time!  You can also keep up with new jewelry on our Instagram page @leastofthese127.

Our October

This past week has been a week of rest for our family.  We had run ourselves ragged for a few weeks before that and needed time to recoup.  Our church recognized Orphan Sunday last weekend and we had as a guest speaker Johnny Carr, author of Orphan Justice.  He also held a training for orphan care ministries in the Jackson area which was awesome.  A few days before all of that, we went to a fundraiser for 200 Million Flowers where Robert Gelainas spoke.  Both of these men are huge advocates for vulnerable children and were great speakers.  If you ever have the chance to hear either or both of them, I highly recommend it!  Then a few days later, I listened to a webinar on "The Church as a Partner in Biological Family Reunification."  Ouch.  As I am sure most of you know, the goal of foster care is to reunify the child/children with their biological family.  For me it is hard to think positively about the biological families much of the time though.  And I am very guilty of thinking the worst of them.  It was a challenging webinar with much truth in it.  What a powerful witness it would be if the church truly came along side these parents and helped them with their struggles.  During our Orphan Justice weekend, I learned about a program called Safe Families.  It trains families in the church to learn how to be a support for families in need - before the government gets involved.  Its goal is to help struggling families who have no support network.  They might need someone to help with their child for a day or for a month - it varies from situation to situation.  Bethany Christian Services is heading up the program and has it in 17 states so far.

I have heard several people this past week lament that their churches are not recognizing Orphan Sunday and that they do not have orphan care ministries.  If that is you, I strongly suggest you pray about possibly starting a ministry in your church instead of leaving for another church with one already established.  Pray that your leadership in your church will have an open heart and mind to you starting one.  And let me know if you need materials to give you a jump start!

The kids are all doing well.   Benjamin continues to thrive and enjoy life here in the U.S.  We met friends for a day at the pumpkin patch and had a great time.  Jocelyn had her 8th birthday in October.  Our new boys have been with us for 3 months now and have finally adjusted to our family and the way we do things.  They are getting along with our kids and for the most part have blended right in.  They all loved dressing up as super heroes this week and of course, enjoyed the candy.  In any spare time I have, I am making jewelry (which I enjoy) and selling it to help adoptive families and vulnerable children (which makes me happy to contribute in a small way).  If you have Christmas shopping you need to do, check out my etsy shop.  I can even send you the jewelry gift-wrapped!

Now for a few pictures of our month:

Ellie Grace burying herself in the dried corn pool at the pumpkin patch.

Jocelyn was just a little excited when she realized she was opening a watch on her birthday!

Our superheroes.

First fall fire (the boys had great fun with this!).

All in all, we are having a great time.

And last but not least, since today is officially Orphan Sunday and November is National Adoption Month, think about how you can care for an orphan or a vulnerable child.  It is about so much more than adopting or fostering.  We are not all called to those things but we are all called to care for orphans.  And there are oh so many ways to do that.  Sponsor a child or a family in danger of losing their child.  Help support foster and adoptive families you know by praying for them, taking them a meal, babysitting, or just encouraging them.  Become a mentor to a foster child.  Donate supplies to a local resource room for foster children.  Sponsor a foster child this Christmas.  Support your local social workers who work tirelessly to make decisions for children in your county.  Take them lunch or a cake or a note of encouragement.  They are way under-appreciated.  There are hundreds of ways.  Be creative....and wait for the blessings that will come your way!

James 1:27

Every Day is a Gift

A year ago today, I began my time in Balta alone.  Scott had to get home to the girls and for work and I stayed behind to continue bonding with Sasha.  It was great to have hours alone with Sasha each day, learning tidbits of his language and him learning entire sentences in ours!  We took walks, played games, and just sat together quietly.  When I would go back to my apartment, it was eerily quiet.  I think I read more books during that time than I had in the past 10 years!  It is amazing to look back on that time and realize how far Sasha's and my relationship has come and how far he has come with learning English.  Every day has been a gift with him.  One day closer to him understanding family.  One day closer to feeling like his mom.  One day closer to establishing sibling bonds.  One more day to lay more groundwork of explaining the love God has for him.  They have not all been easy days (do not misunderstand me!) but they have all been meaningful.  Every day is a gift.  One of my favorite pictures of him during this his and my time together in Pishanna was this one.  If you go back to the last post and see his picture on the first day we met, you can see the huge difference already in that short amount of time!

Last week brought with it some health issues for me that had my oncologist sending me straight for a brain MRI.  Melanoma is known for hitting internal organs so when there are problems, it always has to be considered that melanoma has returned.  It is a strange way to live.  I remember, not long after I was diagnosed, a very wise friend who has also had to deal with cancer, told me that one day I would once again wake up and not have cancer be my first thought.  Well, she was right.  I remember waking up months after my surgery and something else was on my mind.  Then it hit me that cancer was not my first thought.  And that has certainly continued to be the case.  But when I get sick or something is off, cancer is right back at the forefront.  It has to be.  You just can not be too careful with melanoma.  The brain scan came back clear, praise God, but it was a gentle reminder not to take this life for granted.  Every single day is a gift.  A beautiful, 34 year old woman in my melanoma support family passed away this week after a long, hard-fought battle with melanoma.  Life is short.  The day she died, Building 429's song, Where I Belong, was on the radio and I couldn't help but cry for her family but think how true this was for her.  Some of the lyrics are:

All I know is I'm not home yet.
This is not where I belong.
Take this world and give me Jesus.
This is not where I belong.

This is not where we belong.  Let's make it count while we are here.

I love James 1:17.  "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

Our lives are gifts from God, shouldn't we be living them for Him and His glory?

It is with these thoughts that I have made this next necklace, because I always want that reminder.

All proceeds are going to a family in the process of adopting a 14 year old boy from Ukraine.  You can buy this necklace on my etsy shop, www.etsy.com/shop/lot127.  Also follow us on instagram @leastofthese127.  Thank you for helping us help vulnerable children.

One Year Ago

A year ago Scott and I were in Ukraine.  Yesterday was the one year anniversary of us meeting Sasha (when I think back on that time, I can only think of Benjamin as Sasha!) and Vitalik.  The boys were brought into the director's office with us, their teachers, our facilitator, the orphanage doctor, the social worker, and the director.  She told the boys in what seemed to us to be very harsh Russian, that we were here to adopt them.  It was blunt and cold and for the boys, completely out of the blue.  Sasha reacted with tears and fear and Vitalik reacted with (what we now realize) was a very confused smile.  This is our first picture of the boys after we met them.

So many emotions for both boys.  In today's entry from last year in my journal I wrote extensively about our first real lengthy visit.  Sasha had made a complete commitment to being adopted and was so happy to spend every minute he could with us.  With Vitalik, looking back, we should have been able to see it would not end well for our adoption of him.  He was withdrawn and kept his distance from us.  Still today, it is hard to remember how it went with him.  We were not the family he had dreamed of and it is still something we grieve even today.  Our thoughts and prayers and hopes of a good future for him are ever present.

Sasha, however, is home and doing amazingly well.  He is absorbing information faster than I can imagine.  We learned about Abraham Lincoln a couple of weeks ago and he thought Abe sounded like a really cool guy.  Now when we see a tall man, he exclaims, "Ah, Abraham Lincoln!"  It also dawned on me when I was saying 'Hey Diddle Diddle' with Ellie, that he had never heard it, or any other nursery rhyme I could think of to tell him.  His look of delight at hearing them was priceless.  We have so very much to catch up on!  We still have hard days here and there, but way more good days than bad.

I am very excited to tell you about the family who the proceeds from the first month of our jewelry sales will go to.  Here is a little of their story:

Craig and I have been blessed with 4 amazing children McKenna 19, Levi 17, Elias 13, and Dylan 11.  It has been my desire for several years to bring another child into our home through the blessing of adoption.  It wasn't until the fall of 2013 after a dear woman came to our church and spoke of the orphans in Ukraine and their desperate need for a forever home that we decided this is our time.  This is our son.  Edic is a 14 year old Ukrainian orphan with a sweet disposition and never ending smile.  We feel this young man has done far more for our family than he will ever know.  This journey has brought us to our knees and ever closer to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Our faith has deepened as we fully rely on Him to bring our precious child home.  In Ukraine, children age out at the age of 16 and are no longer available to families in America.  We desperately hope to bring him home soon.

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for me."  Matthew 25:40

I met Pam online last year while I was in Ukraine and we have been talking ever since.  I am so excited about their adoption drawing close and am thrilled to be able to help them in a very small way.  In honor of Edic, I am making a few of these necklaces and they will be on my Etsy shop in a few days or feel free to contact me directly about one.  You can order one with or without the heart charm.  Anyone who is interested in buying one, know that all the proceeds will go towards this family's adoption process.

Don't forget to follow us on Instagram @leastofthese127 and check out our etsy shop at Lot127.  All proceeds will go to help support vulnerable children.