Ukraine

Ukraine, despite Scott's and my preconceived ideas about it, is a beautiful country.  The large cities were full of very old, very interesting architecture.  The small villages had a different kind of beauty; of livestock being tended by men, rollings fields of sunflowers, quaint houses with wells in their yards and thatched roofs, and horse drawn carts driving down the roads instead of cars.  Instead of finding the people cold and harsh, we found them friendly and warm and very helpful.  One day when I was in the small town where I was staying, I needed to put more minutes on my phone and was struggling to figure out how.  I went to one store and called my facilitator so he could explain to the clerk what I needed (since I do not speak Russian and all!).  The store I was in could not add minutes so the clerk walked me down the street to a store that could and then proceeded to explain to that store what I needed.  He did not leave me until it was all taken care of.  I have never had that type of customer service here in the U.S.!  One day I had a flat tire and three men stopped to change it for me and would not take any compensation for it.  Many people, including myself at one time, lump Ukraine in with Russia and have an idea that they are a harsh, cold people.  Funny how wrong prejudices can be.  And really, Ukraine is not the same as Russia.  I can not count the times people have said to us that they heard we adopted from Russia.  Ukraine is a separate, independent country.  Just as the U.S. is a separate country from Canada, Ukraine is from Russia.  Their country is not perfect, as ours is not, but it is THEIR country.

During the paperwork part of our adoption process, our actual time in country, and post adoption phase, we have met in person, on line, and in Ukraine, so many people who have become very special to our family.  Truly, some of these people now feel like family and we are bonded to them for life.  I do not begin to understand the political issues going on in Ukraine so I have been hesitant to write about it.  I do understand that Russia is slowly invading Ukraine and that the Ukrainian people do not want it.  They are being killed and displaced slowly but surely.  Orphanages in the east have been evacuated and placed elsewhere in the country.  Families have left everything and fled to other parts of the country.  I keep in touch with one of our friends in Ukraine who has been displaced and am posting (with his permission) part of his last email.  It is one thing to read about this in the news and quite another to know this is happening to people you have met, people that you care about.

"Can't complain, really.  Certainly in undeniably better condition than so many other families.  It's just that this nagging feeling that we lost home that we've invested into so much of our time and resources over the last years continues to be rather painful.  Yes, we are ok here at our rental but it's not "quite right" and will never be.  I am afraid we crossed a no-return point and will need to adapt even better/quicker.  I guess however there's no price for your kids' safety, running around happily, going to school, etc.  We pretend as much as we can the life is normal when it is not..."

This hurts my heart to read - his sadness coming through so clearly.  He, with his wife and children, had to leave behind their home and everything they owned to prevent being in a Russian-controlled part of Ukraine.  They just walked away from everything - or ran.  And yet many families there do not have the resources to do this.

Another family from Texas that we have been fortunate to 'meet' along the way has started a non-profit call The Jeremiah Raok Project.  The goal is to help the people of Ukraine.  They just finished raising money to send food to eastern Ukraine.  They are now raising money to help an orphanage in another part of Ukraine.  You can read about this online at www.jeremiahraokproject.com.  This month, all the proceeds from my jewelry sales will be going to this project.  Please join me in helping to support them!  You can purchase jewelry or just donate on their page.  It is a hard, sad situation and my heart hurts for the people of Ukraine.  If Russia succeeds, their lives will never be the same.  The citizens will be Russian citizens, and the orphans will not be allowed to be adopted as Russia has shut down American adoptions.  We are ever so grateful that we got Benjamin out.  But there are thousands left.  Precious faces that keep me up at night.  Please, be in prayer for the kids in the orphanages and the people of Ukraine.

P.S.  Benjamin has been doing great.  He is plugging away in his school work and continuing to build his vocabulary.  He loves being in a family, American food, and the freedom he has now.  We were able to Skype recently with a friend of his that has now been adopted and it made my heart fill with joy to see how much they enjoyed discussing their new American lives.  They laughed and talked for a very long time and we look forward to doing it again soon.  It was surreal to see and hear them looking nothing like they did in their orphanage and certainly sounding nothing like they did as they conversed entirely in English.  It was a very special time.

January, 2015

It is hard to believe that January is over!  It blew by like a hurricane.  We started off the month sending our bigs back off to their real worlds of school and work and then Scott and I went out to MD Anderson in Houston for my 6 month check up.  There were some enlarged lymph nodes that required biopsy so that was no fun and there were a couple of really long days of appointments, but at the end of it, all is good.  No signs of cancer.  Three years out from stage III melanoma is a big deal and I am not taking it for granted!  So grateful God has seen fit to let me live a little longer.  :)

We got home from that trip and turned right around heading to Arkansas to marry off our little girl.  Carlie and Ethan had gotten engaged and were busy planning a May wedding but decided five months of planning and stress was not for them and decided to just do it.  So our family and his family converged on Eureka Springs at Thorncrown Chapel and they got married.  It was small and intimate and beautiful.  Carlie says it was exactly what they wanted and they are very happy with their decision.

They are all moved into their first apartment and back at school.  I think it was the perfect plan for them.

In the midst of all of this, we decided to re-do our room - there was not enough craziness going on - and I am thrilled with the results.  We cleaned out, painted, rearranged, and are making it work for us so much better.  In old houses, space is at such a premium (i.e. tiny closets, tiny bedrooms, no storage, etc) that you have to make every inch count.  We are finally so much more organized and it is great!

I got a new book while we were in Houston and have finally finished reading it.  The title is Walk to Beautiful and the author is Jimmy Wayne.  I do not follow country music but evidently he has had a few songs.  What piqued my interest though is that it is his story, of being abandoned repeatedly, neglected, in and out of foster care and group homes, all ending in a homeless teen boy on the verge of dropping out of school.  Enter an elderly couple who took a chance on him and ended up saving his life.  He finished high school, finished college, and went on to have a music career in Nashville.  But more than that, he has a passion for aging out foster kids.  He is inspired by how Russell and Bea Costner cared about people.  He said they "didn't talk about loving God and loving people; they just did it."  He fights to raise awareness of the plight of teens aging out of foster care and works to get legislation passed to help them.  One of my favorite quotes in the book is, " Don't walk only when it is convenient; don't merely walk till you get tired; keep walking through it all.  Walk to Beautiful."  Check it out!

Our December in a Nutshell

We had an awesome Christmas season!  December, 2013, Benjamin spent the month slightly shell-shocked/culture-shocked as he was just home.  I spent it exhausted from the 11 weeks I had just spent in Ukraine.  December, 2012, I was neck deep in my cancer treatment and sick as a dog.  December, 2011, I had just been diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma and was in a fog.  So this year.....BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!  We went to parties, had dinners with family and friends, built a gingerbread village, made paper chains, and fuzzy ball garlands, went to see the lights in Canton, played many many games and put together many many puzzles.  Alex Krutov was with us for a day and spoke at our church.  It was great to meet him and get to know him a little.  Benjamin hung on his every word.  I have been reading Alex's book, Infinitely More, and I highly recommend it.  His story is amazing as is his work in Russia with orphans.  If you ever have the chance to go hear him speak, or host him, do it!


                                                    gingerbread village in the making

We had everyone home for Christmas day and for several days afterwards and it was really great.  Scott and I were up early with the littles and up late with the bigs so we were very sleep deprived.  But we did not want to miss a minute of theun and time with family.  Having the big kids home, even if only for a few days, is so special and we treasure that time.

                                                                Christmas morning

                                                     All 10 in one shot - rarely happens

                                                                the newlyweds

                                  Scott got roped into taking all the kids on motorcycle rides.
                                  Somehow, he suffered through.  :)
            

                                                And I could not pass up the opportunity!

It is a well proven fact that holidays often bring out behavior issues in kids from hard places so this year was no different in some difficulties we have faced with some of our kids.  We try making accommodations for that but invariably, hard stuff happens.  I think the Christmas season is particularly painful for them in that their loss is felt more deeply and they are such little people to have to try to cope with so much loss.  But we made it and the first day back at school today was mostly a success.

Now, however, I am heading back to Houston for a check up at MD Anderson.  I will spend one entire day, from about 7:30 a.m. until about 8:30 p.m. being x-rayed, having blood work, an ultrasound, a ct scan, and a full skin check.  They look thoroughly for any hint that the melanoma has returned.  It is unnerving and exhausting.  Caroline will be holding down the fort at home with the littles so please be praying for her that the kids all listen to her and are well-behaved for her.  We have the greatest sitters ever coming in on Thursday and Friday to help her out but still, they are quite the handful.

In the month of December, the proceeds from my jewelry sales were designated for Project Hopeful.  I am happy to report that I am writing them a check for $600 tonight and getting it in the mail tomorrow.  Thank all of you so much who ordered last month!  It is exciting to be able to support Project Hopeful and the work that they do.

Best Christmas Party Ever

We have had this Christmas party on our calendar for a while now.  It was not something we were really looking forward to since parties do not fit with our introverted selves.  But we knew it would be something the kids would enjoy.  It was a party for a local county's foster children, foster families, and birth families.  It would be a party where our mis-matched family would be the norm and the kids would feel like we were just like many other families in the room.  So we forced ourselves to go and guess what....it was the best Christmas party ever.

I was talking to our social worker when she pointed behind me and said, "There is your girl."  I had no idea what she meant so I turned around and there was one of the girls we had fostered this spring with the biggest smile on her face.  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  I could not believe it.  I grabbed her up in a big hug and everything else going on at the party melted away.  All her siblings were there and it was such a surprise and a huge gift to be able to see them, to talk to them, to hug all of them.  I have no idea what all went on at the party or what the program consisted of because all I could do was to soak them in.  The baby had gotten so big and had so much hair!  He had teeth and could stand up now.  The five year old could not stop smiling and hugging us and Ellie and Jocelyn.  Just hearing her say my name again brought tears to my eyes.  The seven year old was somewhat reserved until Scott told her to come give him a hug.  She grabbed hold of him and I thought she was not going to let go.  Made us both cry.  Then my special one - the ten year old.  She was in my lap any time I sat and was hugging me and wanting my undivided attention.  She had all her news built up to tell me.  She was the least expressive when she lived with us but things were spilling out of her tonight. She even told me she missed us and wants to be able to visit us.  More tears.  At one point during the night, she started rubbing her cheeks and saying they hurt.  She has no idea it was because she was smiling so much.  It was an unexpected and incredible gift.  The kids are back with their family and they love their family and wanted to go home to their family.  I certainly do not want to give the impression that they wanted to stay with us.   I do, however, think they built another small, secondary family with us and that we all miss each other.  I could not ask for a gift that means any more to me than this night has.  My heart is full.

So many of you have asked about these kids the past few months and we have had no news because we have not been allowed to see them.  I knew you would enjoy hearing that we got to see them and getting a little update on them.  If you think about it, please pray the parents' hearts would soften and allow us a small place in the kids' lives.  I am sure it is hard to understand the bond you can build in such a short time with children who are not your own.  But trust me, there is a love there that is unexplainable.  We miss them every day, pray for them every day and care so much for them and their future.  It is a comfort to know that God loves them even more than we do.


This was our group on an outing this past spring.  Going anywhere was definitely an event!

Merry Christmas and Project Hopeful

We are in the full swing of the Christmas season around here as I am sure all of you are as well.  We had a great Thanksgiving with almost all of our bigs home.  Emileigh is working in Indiana and could not get home but we are looking forward to her being here for Christmas.  It was our first Thanksgiving without her, our first Thanksgiving with Collin's wife Elizabeth and our first Thanksgiving with Carlie's boyfriend, Ethan.  He is from Wisconsin and is going to school at Mississippi State U so it was a bit far for him to go home!  And last but not least, it was Benjamin's first Thanksgiving here and it was his first time to go with us to cut our Christmas tree and I think he had a great time with both!   He loves when all the big kids are home and loved going to my mom's and being with all the cousins.  He loved the food and really just had a great time. 

These three were intrigued with the cutting of the tree!

I think Collin, Elizabeth and Jocelyn had the most fun!

I am still making and selling jewelry when I can and finished up the fundraiser for the Rash family's adoption last month.  They should be traveling soon in the new year and I can not wait to show you pictures of their new son!  As soon as they give the ok, I will introduce you to him.  We all really appreciate your support of their adoption.  

For the month of December, the proceeds from my sales are going to Project Hopeful.  They are an organization that educates, encourages, and enables families and individuals to advocate for and adopt children with HIV/AIDS and other of the most overlooked children for adoption.  Our family has been impacted by the cause of children with HIV/AIDS so it is a cause close to our hearts.  We knew nothing about HIV/AIDS except for all the fears until a few years ago when out of necessity, we became educated about it.  Now we realize how important education is on this subject so that people can let go of their fears.  So we really appreciate the work that Project Hopeful does on behalf of these kids.  Check them out at www.projecthopeful.org, on Facebook or on Instagram.  And thanks for helping support them!

One of my favorite new pair of earrings:

To order a pair, either contact me or click on the etsy button which will take you straight to my shop.

Chicago - A Fun City....Right?

Our house on most days is, at best, controlled chaos.  There is always someone needing something.  It is uncommon to get through a night without one of them waking us up with one need or another.  So when Scott found out he had to go on a business trip last week, he 'jokingly' was excited to get away for a break.  He looked forward to 4 full nights of sleep, cutting up noone's food but his own at meals, getting out for long walks, and only having to take care of himself.  He was going to Chicago, one of our favorite places to visit, a place we always have fun.  We love to walk along the Magnificent Mile, along the edge of the lake, and through the neighborhoods.  On one of Scott's walks on this trip, he met a young man.  A homeless young man.  During their time together Matthew shared that he had aged out of the foster care system a year ago, at the age of 18.  He said he was removed from his home when he was three and spent the next 15 years moving from one foster home to another and then eventually to a group home (because really, who wants an older foster boy in their home?).  He remained in the group home until he aged out at 18 with nowhere to go.  No people in this world.  He claimed he never wanted to be adopted, never wanted to be let down by another family.  So he is living on the streets of Chicago.  He said he gets a bed most nights in a shelter but with it getting colder, the competition for a bed is making it harder.  The night before, it had rained too, making it even harder and he did not find a bed.  He slept outside in the rain but a positive, he said, is that he does at least own a blanket.  But now it is wet and his biggest problem of the day is trying to get it dried out in case he has to sleep outside again that night.  He said people are pretty good about giving him food most days and that he really does not have to eat that much.  His hopes and dreams in life are to survive each day, day by day.  Nineteen, on the streets, with no prospects in his near future.  I am guessing Matthew does not see the 'fun' in Chicago.   It makes the statistics I hear about the majority of males aging out of foster care ending up in jail or dead seem all too real.  You hear about those 25,000 kids who age out each year in the U.S. as 'slipping through the cracks.'  I heard a speaker say recently that he thinks that phrasing is incorrect.  He said they are not slipping through the cracks but slipping through the church's fingers as we stand idly by.   Matthew needed a connection.  Where were God's people in Matthew's group home?  Where was that one person to care enough to be a support for him when he got out?  These kids need people.  Not even neccessarily to adopt them but to help guide them.  They age out with no life skills and no marketable skills for the job market.  I met a woman recently whose mission is to help kids in our area who are aging out navigate the college application process.  What an awesome mission!  For those who want to go to college, what a gift to give them.  Kids need people who can teach them how to hunt for jobs, how to budget their money once they have a job, how to find adequate housing, how to choose a college or a trade school, how to drive a car, and the list could go on and on.  Some might just want a place at a table on Thanksgiving.  Where do you think Matthew will be this Thanksgiving?  It hurts my heart to even contemplate that.

If you want to help, Sunnybrook Children's Home is a good place to start in our area.  And I promise, there are multiple homes in your area too.  They are inundated at this time of year with people looking for a holiday mission.  So check in with them in January or February.  Build those relationships.  I promise, it will never be something you regret investing your time in.

If you have not read this story, please take a minute to do so.  It is written by a former social worker so it is a slightly different perspective:

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-child-i-didnt-adopt/

As always, I have jewelry for sale at my etsy shop, link on this blog page, and all the proceeds are still going to the Rash family who adopting a boy near and dear to our hearts.  Please help support their adoption and get some Christmas shopping done at the same time!  You can also keep up with new jewelry on our Instagram page @leastofthese127.

Our October

This past week has been a week of rest for our family.  We had run ourselves ragged for a few weeks before that and needed time to recoup.  Our church recognized Orphan Sunday last weekend and we had as a guest speaker Johnny Carr, author of Orphan Justice.  He also held a training for orphan care ministries in the Jackson area which was awesome.  A few days before all of that, we went to a fundraiser for 200 Million Flowers where Robert Gelainas spoke.  Both of these men are huge advocates for vulnerable children and were great speakers.  If you ever have the chance to hear either or both of them, I highly recommend it!  Then a few days later, I listened to a webinar on "The Church as a Partner in Biological Family Reunification."  Ouch.  As I am sure most of you know, the goal of foster care is to reunify the child/children with their biological family.  For me it is hard to think positively about the biological families much of the time though.  And I am very guilty of thinking the worst of them.  It was a challenging webinar with much truth in it.  What a powerful witness it would be if the church truly came along side these parents and helped them with their struggles.  During our Orphan Justice weekend, I learned about a program called Safe Families.  It trains families in the church to learn how to be a support for families in need - before the government gets involved.  Its goal is to help struggling families who have no support network.  They might need someone to help with their child for a day or for a month - it varies from situation to situation.  Bethany Christian Services is heading up the program and has it in 17 states so far.

I have heard several people this past week lament that their churches are not recognizing Orphan Sunday and that they do not have orphan care ministries.  If that is you, I strongly suggest you pray about possibly starting a ministry in your church instead of leaving for another church with one already established.  Pray that your leadership in your church will have an open heart and mind to you starting one.  And let me know if you need materials to give you a jump start!

The kids are all doing well.   Benjamin continues to thrive and enjoy life here in the U.S.  We met friends for a day at the pumpkin patch and had a great time.  Jocelyn had her 8th birthday in October.  Our new boys have been with us for 3 months now and have finally adjusted to our family and the way we do things.  They are getting along with our kids and for the most part have blended right in.  They all loved dressing up as super heroes this week and of course, enjoyed the candy.  In any spare time I have, I am making jewelry (which I enjoy) and selling it to help adoptive families and vulnerable children (which makes me happy to contribute in a small way).  If you have Christmas shopping you need to do, check out my etsy shop.  I can even send you the jewelry gift-wrapped!

Now for a few pictures of our month:

Ellie Grace burying herself in the dried corn pool at the pumpkin patch.

Jocelyn was just a little excited when she realized she was opening a watch on her birthday!

Our superheroes.

First fall fire (the boys had great fun with this!).

All in all, we are having a great time.

And last but not least, since today is officially Orphan Sunday and November is National Adoption Month, think about how you can care for an orphan or a vulnerable child.  It is about so much more than adopting or fostering.  We are not all called to those things but we are all called to care for orphans.  And there are oh so many ways to do that.  Sponsor a child or a family in danger of losing their child.  Help support foster and adoptive families you know by praying for them, taking them a meal, babysitting, or just encouraging them.  Become a mentor to a foster child.  Donate supplies to a local resource room for foster children.  Sponsor a foster child this Christmas.  Support your local social workers who work tirelessly to make decisions for children in your county.  Take them lunch or a cake or a note of encouragement.  They are way under-appreciated.  There are hundreds of ways.  Be creative....and wait for the blessings that will come your way!

James 1:27